Lacie Tanaka
Hawaii Native
Daughter of Amanda and Jade
Posts: 371
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Post by Lacie Tanaka on Aug 2, 2021 19:42:01 GMT -5
Lacie had expected that her time in Australia would come to an end way before she was ready for it to, even before she'd known that there was a possibility that Brendon would be joining her for part of it. Well, technically speaking he hadn't officially joined her - he'd just been temporarily living close enough that they'd been able to spend almost every weekend of these past three months together. Once hor surf camp experience had come to an end and she'd headed back to Sydney, where she'd arranged to spend an additional week sightseeing before boarding her flight home to Hawaii, he'd quit the temporary job he'd been working these past few months and he'd joined her in the hotel room she'd booked for her stay. Considering the fact that the town he'd been living in to be in close proximity to the camp wasn't exactly fascinating, she knew he'd likely been pretty excited to move on. He was also likely to stay around the country for a little while longer after she left, so even though he'd already visited Sydney before, he didn't seem to mind the repeat. As with the rest of her stay down under, though, the past few days had gone by far too quickly, and before she knew it they reached the last night of her stay. Her bags were already packed and she'd decided to hop in the shower once they'd returned to the room after dinner. Staring at herself in the bathroom mirror afterward, her hair damp and a fluffy towel wrapped around her body, she found it difficult to keep her breath from growing shakier, but she did her best as she opened the bathroom door and walked back into the bedroom, taking a seat at the foot of the bed.
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Post by Brendon Clarke on Aug 4, 2021 22:03:14 GMT -5
One might have thought that after spending months travelling around Brendon would have been happy to go elsewhere and while that was true in some respects in others Brendon was less excited about it. Namely, moving on meant that his time with Lacie was coming to an end. Sure they'd really only had weekends while she’d been at surf camp but it was more than they'd ever had before. Something steady and reliable and the small towns’ lack of charm was more than made up for by being able to spend time with Lacie. Not that the past week together hadn't been amazing but the flight that she was going to be taking was fast approaching the entire time lingering in the back of his mind like a ticking time bomb. Now they'd finally arrived to the last day and as Lacie showered Brendon couldn't help but think about the goodbyes they'd be saying the next morning. His heart ached at the idea but he tried to push away everything, it'd do no good to dwell on it now. Besides, he didn’t want to bring down the mood for the time that they did have left. As soon as the door opened he put a smile on to greet Lacie. The look on her face said that she wasn't doing too well herself and instantly Brendon was moving to the end of the bed to sit down next to her. "Doing okay?" he asked, rubbing her back lightly
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Lacie Tanaka
Hawaii Native
Daughter of Amanda and Jade
Posts: 371
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Post by Lacie Tanaka on Oct 7, 2021 13:43:21 GMT -5
Lacie had never been a very emotional person, at least not outwardly. Sentimentality often made her uncomfortable, and that was probably one of the reasons she'd grown comfortable around Brendon so quickly. He was far from being the serious type, and even though his antics could sometimes be questionable, he made it excessively easy to feel at ease around him. Part of her was kind of counting on him to keep this evening going in that usual lighthearted manner, or at least she was hoping he would. She felt it would make it a lot simpler to not dwell on anything that might bring feelings into play. That was, however, without taking into consideration just how uncharacteristically close to the surface her own emotions currently were, and somehow it didn't take much to make it all spill over. Almost as soon as he moved to sit next to her and asked if she was doing okay, she felt her throat tighten and her eyes start to burn, but there really was nothing to do to hold back the tears that she now realized had been coming no matter what she might have tried to do to stop them.
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Post by Brendon Clarke on Apr 11, 2022 15:18:51 GMT -5
Brendon thought that he knew Lacie pretty well, knew her moods and how to read between the lines of sarcasm and blank looks that he got when he was doing something that she didn't want to show any sort of reaction to, but he was unprepared for Lacie to start crying from his question. It wasn't that he was unfamiliar with crying girls (he'd helped Cora through many tears over the years), but he was unfamiliar with a crying Lacie. It made his throat tight and his mouth pinch into a frown as he guided her into his lap, still rubbing her back. "I've got you," he said quietly, kissing the top of her head softly. He didn't know what a crying Lacie wanted in terms of comfort, what would make her feel better. He doubted that she wanted to talk about it but he decided to give her the option nonetheless. "Do you wanna talk about what's going on?" He had an idea, a very good one even, but he'd look like a right arse if he'd just told her that they'd see one another again and she was upset about more than the two of them parting.
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Lacie Tanaka
Hawaii Native
Daughter of Amanda and Jade
Posts: 371
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Post by Lacie Tanaka on Jun 13, 2022 10:38:10 GMT -5
Crying in front of Brendon felt like probably one of the worst things Lacie could have done right now. Not only was she juggling with all the emotions that came from knowing she'd be leaving back for Hawaii and not seeing him again for months, in all likelihood, now she also had to deal with the fact that he would probably try to comfort her, and man did she hate people being closeby whenever she cried. It was actually a conscious effort on her part not to push him away as he guided her into his lap and his hand rubbed at her back, trying to allow him to stay close even though her entire body felt a bit stiff from how uncomfortable it actually was. It had nothing to do with him though and all with her own defenses that weren't that easy to knock down, so she felt she would make things worse by actively pushing him away. Hearing him say that he had her was somewhat comforting, except for the fact that it was just another reminder that even that was a temporary state of things. "What's the point?" she said as he asked if she wanted to talk about what was going on, her voice choppy and thick with tears. "It's not gonna change anything."
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Post by Brendon Clarke on Oct 30, 2022 8:52:38 GMT -5
Brendon bit back a sigh as Lacie asked what the point of talking about things was when it wasn't going to change anything. They were different people and he'd always known that, it just made things difficult for him to figure how to best be there for her now. He couldn't push her to do things the way that he was most comfortable with just because it'd be easier for him. "Sometimes talking helps me figure out what's going on," he answered, hoping that it came off as casually as he was trying to project. "If you don't want to talk though we don't have to." He pressed another kiss to the top of her head, his hand continuing to move soothingly across her back. "What would you like from me?" He didn't know, realistically, what he could offer but he might as well try to see if something would help her. He didn't like the powerless feeling that he had watching her be upset and not knowing how to make her, if not better, at least stop crying. Neither one of them wanted this to be their last night together, he was sure.
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Lacie Tanaka
Hawaii Native
Daughter of Amanda and Jade
Posts: 371
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Post by Lacie Tanaka on Oct 30, 2022 11:20:40 GMT -5
Even though Lacie had known, going into this, that long distance relationships were hard, it somehow hadn't occured to her just how much harder it would be now that they'd actually had a semblance of normalcy. Agreeing to get involved with Brendon while they were halfway around the world from each other hadn't been an easy decision, and it was difficult not to feel like there was something lacking whenever she desperately wanted him close. But she'd grown up knowing nothing else than distance from him, so the transition had been smoother than it may have otherwise been. Now it felt like she was being torn away rather than a clean cut, and there was nothing but unknown in the months ahead. She gave a quiet huff as he said that talking sometimes helped him figure out what was going on, sniffling in a way that had to be unattractive as she tried to wipe away the tears that hadn't stopped coming. Her heart aching in an unpleasant way as he went on to ask what she would like from him, because it wasn't anything he could actually give her. "To not live on the other side of the world," she spoke nonetheless, her breath hitching slightly as she squeezed her eyes shut in a pointless attempt to stop her crying.
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Post by Brendon Clarke on Nov 1, 2022 19:59:10 GMT -5
Brendon's heart contracted to see Lacie continue to cry, the feeling only worse as she said that she wanted him to not live on the other side of the world before her breath hitched more and she shut her eyes to stop another onslaught of tears. "Oh, Lace," he said with a sigh, pressing a kiss to her forehead and bringing his hands to help wipe away the tears. "I-" There wasn't much that he could say in this case. He did live halfway across the world. It was just what it was, something they both knew but hadn't spent time talking about. Instead of focusing on something that he couldn't change (although, maybe... no that was for later to worry about) he decided to tell her something that was true. "I'm going to miss you too. So much." He almost was afraid of it, of how he'd feel once he actually wasn't able to just see her as easily as he wanted. Hell or even talk to her without having to wait for their time zones to try and line up again once they ran on opposite schedules once more, even before she'd arrived here he'd been a lot closer to her time zone for a couple of months.
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Lacie Tanaka
Hawaii Native
Daughter of Amanda and Jade
Posts: 371
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Post by Lacie Tanaka on Dec 27, 2022 16:27:12 GMT -5
Although Lacie would never say that she regretted anything that had happened between herself and Brendon so far - from the casual hook ups to the past few months spent together - the current moment certainly served as a reminder as to why she had felt hesitant to start dating him. She knew the prospect of long distance had nearly ended her own mothers' relationship, and the only thing that had salvaged it had been her mama's decision to transfer back to the mainland from Hawaii throughout university, until her mom had finished her own college years, at which point they had made the decision to move to Maui together. And she knew Brendon had said he was okay with the idea that she'd never move to England, and that they could eventually work something out, but in retrospect, he had also never said he was willing to move to Hawaii. She felt a bit silly now for not trying to figure things out a bit more clearly, even though logically she knew there was no way to plan the future with certainty that things would unfold how they wanted them to. There were a lot of factors at play, and they were still too young to know for sure where they'd end up. Yet, not too young to know wherever that was, she wanted it to be where he was, too. Giving a bit of a shaky sigh as he told her he would miss her, unsure that there was anything more to say right then and there. Morning would come before they knew it, he'd come with her to the airport, and they would go on their separate ways for nobody knew how long. And although she hadn't wanted to spend her last night with him moping around, right now she didn't feel like doing much else than letting him hold her close until she fell asleep.
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Post by Brendon Clarke on Jan 28, 2023 16:17:00 GMT -5
Caring about Lacie was something that had come naturally to Brendon, she'd sort of snuck up on him without him realizing that he had started to have feelings for her until it was too late to stop them. Holding her now, he wished that one thing was different though, and it was that they didn't live so far apart. Being together these past weeks had been incredible, actually talking face to face and allowing themselves time to be together had only made him care that much more deeply about her. He wasn't surprised that she didn't say it back, able to read between the lines with the shaky sigh that she let out and the way that she kept herself close to him. He continued to rub at her back lightly, pressing a kiss against her forehead and just allowing them to be together without saying anything else. Usually he wouldn't allow that sort of silence, finding them too awkward, but he didn't think that there was anything more that he could say to Lacie that would be helpful in any way. Instead, he was just going to hope that his presence was enough.
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Lacie Tanaka
Hawaii Native
Daughter of Amanda and Jade
Posts: 371
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Post by Lacie Tanaka on Jul 18, 2023 14:16:10 GMT -5
It took some time, but eventually Lacie managed to feel somewhat well enough to know she wouldn't be crying any more, at least for tonight. And as much as she wanted to just go to sleep, she felt there were things she and Brendon needed to talk over before she left the next morning. Leaving that conversation to tomorrow definitely didn't seem like an option, and although she would previously have felt that any serious talk about any potential future they had would ruin the time they had to spend together, now she felt like not laying it all out while they were face to face was a stupid decision. "Give me a minute," she spoke, her voice a bit steadier than it had been earlier as she disentangled herself from his arms and got herself properly ready for bed, pulling on her pajamas and brushing her damp hair before she climbed back into bed with him. Except instead of sitting herself in a way that would allow contact again, she sat cross legged, facing him and toying with the hem of her shorts. "We need to talk about what's next," she told him. She knew this probably wouldn't be what he was expecting, but she'd never been someone to beat around the bush and she wasn't about to start now. "I know we sort of laid a few things out when this all started out, but I don't think that's enough anymore. I think we need an actual plan, a timeline, something. Otherwise, I don't know... it can't just be up in the air indefinitely, I can't do it like that," she went on, more words rushing out than she had intended but feeling it might be better to lay it all out anyway.
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Post by Brendon Clarke on Aug 26, 2023 17:58:29 GMT -5
Brendon kept hold of Lacie until her tears died out, nodding when she asked for a minute. He didn't say anything as she got ready for bed, instead going through what he might have said differently or better and trying to figure out if there was something that he should say. His nerves prickled though as she got back into bed and kept a distance from him. That wasn't a good sign. As she spoke it was only further confirmed, his stomach sinking as she explained that they needed to have a plan or she didn't think she could keep going. He sucked in a breath, feeling a bit like he'd been hit with the suddenness and her assertion. "Okay, uh- I haven't um, come prepared for this," he admitted. He wasn't aware that they were at such a stage, the one where not having a solid plan meant that it was the end of them. "Since you've been thinking about this more, I guess, you have the floor?" His mind was racing too much to come up with anything intelligent to say right now, wondering how he'd missed the signs.
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Lacie Tanaka
Hawaii Native
Daughter of Amanda and Jade
Posts: 371
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Post by Lacie Tanaka on Aug 26, 2023 20:04:28 GMT -5
Lacie had to keep herself from rolling her eyes when she saw that Brendon suddenly looked like a deer in headlights, although granted, she had kind of sprung this on him. It wasn't like she expected him to have a fully detailed plan of their future together though, which she felt might be what he thought she was asking for considering the fact that he started off by telling her he hadn't come prepared for this, adding that she had the floor. It was actually a little bit frustrating to think he hadn't given their relationship any forethought other than these past few months and then... just up in the air? "I don't know either, Brendon," she told him with a frown. "Which is why I want us to talk about it, see if things even align for us. Like, I'm going home tomorrow. You're gonna go back to the UK next. Then what?" she went on. "I just... if we don't have a plan in place, I feel like this could just drag on indefinitely, and I just... do you really want to be waiting around for who knows how long?" She bit her lip a little as she felt emotion rising up in her again, trying not to let it overwhelm her this time. "What if we just both get home, and then things get busy, and we just never talk it over," she spoke with a bit less certainty, averting her eyes.
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